Into the Void By Joe S. Thomas

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It made me sick when I heard those words come out of his mouth…  The words my sister’s widower spoke to the hideous thing still cuddled up nice and warm in the exact spot my sister took her last breath and passed over into death and whatever that entails…  I love you…  These were the words he spoke that I heard with my own ears…  I certainly didn’t want to hear it, I almost lost the coffee I’d poured into my stomach…  I was walking to the hall closet to grab a towel to take a shower…  I walk quietly…  I do everything quietly out of respect for others…  Something they could learn a thing or two about around this place…  I’m stealth like a ninja, a burglar, a murderer…  I always have been…  The moment he uttered those three stupid fucking words he turned the corner and we were face to face…  He knew I’d heard his disgusting declaration to the thing he’s been seeing since 1 month after my sister passed…  Hell, I still haven’t mourned her properly and it will be a year on June 11, 2024…  My limbs seemed to go cold…  My mind went blank as I attempted to walk past without having to speak…  Embarrassed, he spoke some generic morning greeting through a shaky voice and a scarlet face…  Fuck him…  I was pissed off…  Nothing new there…  I certainly have my doubts about him knowing what the fuck love is I must say…  I was heartbroken for my poor sister who I’d watched dwindle to absolutely nothing as she laid in her bed eating pain pills and facing death as the Cancer ate her down to bones…  She faced it bravely…  50 is too young to go…  I’ve been dealing with the stupidity of this house, the disrespect shown to my deceased sister and the fact that I’m stuck here  for the time being for so long that I have truly forgotten what it feels like or even means to be happy anymore…  There are many reasons why, but this is perhaps the biggest now that I heard it fall from his fucking face…  I wonder if my sister’s son heard him say it to her…  I wonder what he thought if he did…  He and I don’t speak…  I have nothing to say to anyone here…  It’s pointless…  They simply do not care…  Everyday something blatantly reminds me of this fact…  I wish I wouldn’t have heard those words spoken…  They sounded so stupid, so hollow coming from that motherfucker…  I wanted to crush his skull…  It just made me think of the double mastectomy my sister endured, the pain she felt, how she told me she would never feel attractive again and all of the things that must run through a woman’s mind as Cancer slowly eats her life away into the void…  I believe the wrong person was taken…  That’s just my opinion…  The wrong damn person was taken…  Perhaps one day I can come to terms with all of this bullshit, but I will tell you one little bit of absolute truth that I know with all of my heart…  Once I’m away from these people, they will never lay eyes on me again…  I promise…  RIP Sis…